I thought this would never happen! I've just been put of TWIX.
In 1995 MARS Inc. patented:
"Coating an edible material with a continuous inorganic coating, wherein the coating has a thickness ranging from 0.0001 to 0.5 microns"
… to provide a barrier to migration of moisture, oxygen and fat.
The coating is:
Mars considerately applied this coating to:
thereby extending their shelf life and preserving the "crunch".
Kellogg tried to patent this PEANUT BUTTER recipe:
65‐85% nut butter
5‐30% sugar alcohol (e.g. sorbitol)
1‐5% triglyceride‐based stabiliser
1‐5% food starch
Apparently, the "clever bit" is the sugar alcohol, which prevents the peanut butter oils from "migrating" into the chocolate covering of the Kellogg Special K Bars.
I assumed Special K bars didn't taste so good because they were "diet" bars. I'm now thinking: maybe it's the sorbitol.
Food patents can be surprisingly simple. But, few are as exceptional as US patent no. 2999017 granted to Unilever for a "process for making chocolate":
This short patent gave Unilever a 20 year monopoly over substituting glucose with a sugar derived from corn starch ‐ a sweetener that's considered an obvious alternative today. One small problem: it doesn't taste as good!
Cadbury's patent for a FLAKE covers a confectionery comprising:
a convoluted chocolate sheet made up of fold lines defining cavities filled with a filling material; and
a planar region of weakness extending along the full width of the chocolate sheet.
In English: "a Flake chocolate with break‐lines"!
Kind of like a Kit‐Kat, but not quite. What boggles me is that Cadbury's considered it necessary to include 12 pictures properly to explain this technological milestone ‐ each worth 994 superfluous words.
Patent: US8974850 (granted 2015)
Pearson's Candy Company patented the method of making its famous SALTED NUT ROLL:
55 years on … and Pearson's remains the King of Salted Nut Rolls.
Let's be honest: we LOVED these, but would be appalled to see our children playing with them:
Here's the patented method of making them:
"Injecting chocolate into a helical paper wrapping tube."
Well, what more did you expect?
This inventor identified a serious mortal threat posed by LOLLIPOPS:
"Numerous incidents have been reported of children being seriously injured, sometimes fatally, through falling down with a conventional lollipop in their mouths. Accordingly, the major object of the invention is to provide a lollipop that is attractive to children and which does not embody any sharp sticks and is therefore absolutely safe for children to hold in their mouth while at play."
His patented solution:
"A candy lollipop having a body sized to be enveloped by the lips and a thumb‐receiving recess with a lining."
A clear front‐runner for President of UNICEF!
LOLLIPOP WHISTLES! We all loved them, but this one would've made you King of the Playground ‐ a patented WHISTLE POP with slidable stick for varying the pitch! Genius!
This is how Efrutti patented its mini‐burgers and mini hot dogs:
" A disc or rod‐shaped fruit gum layer sandwiched between domed porous foamed sugar layers."
Wonder if McDonald's patented its "disc‐shaped meat layer sandwiched between dome‐shaped buns"?
In addition to patenting its Efrutti hot dogs and hamburgers, Mederer design registers all its delicious jujubes ...
For all the Baseball lovers out there: Patented candy or ice cream in the form of a baseball bat …
The patent covers:
a handle with a stem extending therefrom; and
an edible product (e.g. candy or ice cream): mounted on the stem; and abutting the handle,
wherein the outer radial surface of the edible product is aligned with the outer radial surface of the handle.
This has to be the best SUCKER ever!!
US2121185 patented a sucker made of:
hard candy with a cavity and outlet openings;
syrupy material within the cavity; and
a stick movable within the cavity to eject syrup from the outlets.
A syrup‐filled stick‐pumped sucker! Anyone keen to join me in the sucker business? This patent has expired!
This one should've been a real crowd‐pleaser: A patented method of making CAMPFIRE MARSHMALLOWS (without the campfire):
But, they missed the most important thing: the hot, gooey centre. So disappointed! Definitely won't be making this for the kids this weekend ‐ reckon they'd rather opt for Brussel Sprouts.
Alphabet Soup was BIG. Alphabet Nougat not so Big.
Who would've guessed?
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